As I go through the planning of my trip, it has been striking to me how important material things have become and how much that they can actually get in the way of enjoying your life. They certainly can add a tremendous amount of complexity. This has forced me to really re-evaluate what is making me happy and what is not.
I have lived in this house for nearly 15 years, the last 11 months alone. I also work from here most days, so I probably spend more time at home than the average person does. This house is more than just a structure, it has been a home, one that has given me a lot of pleasure over the years. I will always remember the sound of laughter coming from my friends sitting around the dining room table.
So why is it that this house no longer pleases me? Will it again? I don’t have the answers to these questions. All I know is that I’m trapped in a previous life, a life that no longer exists and I simply can’t let go of it. This house and everything in it reminds me of my loss. I’m reminded every day all day long. This has turned out to be more than I can bare.
After a lot of heart-wrenching deliberation, I have decided to lease the house. http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/2641-S-Beverly-Dr_Los-Angeles_CA_90034_M20038-05674?source=facebook This approach gives me the option of returning here. I think perhaps I would be foolish to give up that opportunity. But I also think it would be equally foolish to let it sit here empty for an extended period of time.
I have a wonderful job. I work for a progressive company, I’m surrounded (virtually) by young, smart, and energetic people that I genuinely believe like me, and I’m paid well. I often feel like my efforts at work are making a difference. But just like this house, that job seems to be of my previous life and is one more anchor around my neck keeping me from moving on to the next one. Therefore I must move on without it. I just know in my heart that there is another career waiting for me on the other side of this adventure.
Then there is all this “stuff!” What to do with all this stuff? It just seems to accumulate over the decades, and most of it really has no purpose at all anymore. I’m getting rid of it. My manager at work is having surgery next week, that’s important, the 3rd TV in the bedroom isn’t. I’m unhappy, that’s important, the Kitchenaid mixer isn’t.
As the lease of the house finalizes, I’ll have a better fix on the speed at which I can start to shed these things. Letting go of each and every one of them is going to be difficult but I just have to keep reminding myself what is important. At the end of the process I’m hoping to feel a lot lighter and mobile. I’ll be homeless and living out of a suitcase.
Anyone want to buy some 80’s bedroom furniture? It would go great in a mauve room and is priced to sell.