Holding Pattern

I hated this class anyway!

This is an awkward time in my adventure.  Frankly, it’s not really that adventurous right now as it seems I am in a holding pattern until the house leases.  Once that happens, someone actually signs on the dotted line, my timeframe is totally up in the air.

But when that moment comes, all hell will break lose.  I will know the date by which I will have to vacate the house and everything will work backwards from there.  Then, and only then, will this folly take on a life of its own.  My current thinking is that someone will likely want to move in December 1st.  If that works out to be the case I will aim to be on that 747 bound for Sydney on December 5th…my 52nd birthday.  I will leave my job on November 2nd…exactly one year since Ray’s death.  I want to spend Christmas lying on Bondi or Manly Beach!

In the meantime I try to do at least one little chore every day that takes me toward my goal.  Sometimes it is something rather insignificant.  For instance, today I am going to throw away my college textbooks.  I think it’s time.  I know it is time.  My cost accounting text has a picture of the skyline of Los Angeles on it and the photo looks nothing like the city looks today…it’s hardly recognizable.  It’s time for moving on.

Today is October 2nd and that means it has been 11 months since Ray died.  I hate these anniversary dates, they are the one step backward after I’ve managed a couple baby steps forward.  So many have told me that “it will get better.”  Yet none of them have told me when.  I suppose that is up to me.


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