A Place to Share

I allowed myself to become bored today.  That is dangerous for, you dear reader, because I think too much when I’m bored.  But don’t fret; I wasn’t actually “bored” rather I found myself with some time on my hands in an incredibly beautiful place.  This alignment is a good thing, but it does allow the mind some time to wander.

I am smitten by this little town, Hoi An.  I’m taken by how well it has been preserved while being visited by tourists quite heavily.  I’m taken by the fact that the foreigners visiting here respect that it is a special place; we are all leaving a small footprint here.  I haven’t seen any “conspicuous consumption” by westerners. It’s a very low-key place.  My kind of town.

Today is the 4th day of the month.  This is the first time since Ray died that I did not remember the 2nd day.  When I realized that this afternoon my first feeling was guilt, then I tried to convince myself that this is perhaps progress in some ways.  I sat for over an hour in one beautiful spot in the village by the river.  I just watched the world go by me.  I was especially taken by the late middle-aged couples.  I was envious of their dependence on one another.  I could see how they communicated without even speaking; they were sharing memorable moments that were unfolding every 30 seconds in front of our eyes.  This accentuated the  loneliness I often feel and I found myself with a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat again.

Some places are special and I think that Hoi An is one of them.  It is such a waste to see it alone without seeing the delight in your partner’s eyes.  Leaving you these pictures, dear reader, is the best that I can do.  I’m sorry, but the whole god damned thing feels rather hollow to me right about now.


8 thoughts on “A Place to Share

  1. Randy……I am simply mesmerized by this small village. The photos you have shared are stunning. I have enjoyed “traveling” with you these past few months. You are making new memories. Soak it all in and enjoy the quiet solitude. You understand yourself which is an advantage. Thank you for sharing your adventures. Have you seen any local herbalists in these places?

    • OMG! are you kidding? everyone is an “herbalist” here. right now my little room reeks of incense from the street and their little stalls. It’s all rather intimidating though. One doesn’t ingest what one doesn’t know. Do one? Unless one is 22 years old I suppose.

  2. Tamara, you wrote on FB: “I know it must be lonely as hell for you at times…but just embrace everything…all the emotions….sit with them for a while before moving.” I got it in an email (thank God for Microsoft). I will never forget these words.

  3. Tamara is a wise woman. I could not have said it better. ALLOW yourself this time, all the emotions. YOUR HEALING.

  4. Randy,you might get mad at me for what I’m gonna say,but “get a gripe man you are having a adventure that most people only dream about,so enjoy every moment of it,you might not believe it but you are a lucky man,and most of it is due to Ray,he would want you to live life to the fullest.Love You Guy……………wanda

    • Aunt Wanda, I do believe the things you said are true, and I am trying. I should spend more time writing about the “up”monments rather than dwelling on the few “down” times. But those are the ones that are most poingnant to me and are easiier to express.

      Overall, I’m doing better than I’ve done in months. Keep me in line, okay?

  5. Randy, I agree with Tamara’s words. Having lost my wife, Kay, of 27 years in December, I find it best if I “embrace the emotions,” painful as they can be. It takes a lot of courage to squarely face the gut-wrenching feelings, but I think it speeds up the healing process.

    Keep on Truckin’! (And don’t forget to post a picture of yourself wearing one of those pointed hats.

    Your friend,

  6. Randy, we love the truthfulness in your blogs. Just keep telling us about the way you feel and the things you are seeing. You also take very interesting pictures. – – Irwin and Barbara

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